COMPARISON
Growing up with my dad, I learnt a very valuable lesson from himself and my mum. Growing up, my elder brother was a maths wizard. He does mathematics so effortlessly I was always flabbergasted by how effortlessly he does it. Myself on the other hand have no love for anything mathematics at all and I have never hidden my ‘hate’ for the subject. I know enough to allow me pass exams but not deep enough but my elder brother on the other hand loves anything calculations and is good at it and it doesn’t stress him the way Math stress me.
My dad being himself knows this and has never ever even for once compares us to one another. He has never ever told me to be like my elder brother when it comes to education and never has he told my younger sister to be like me. He understood we all have our different strong point and allow us all excel in our different ways. No comparison, no pressure. Just a good ‘DO YOUR THING’ mentality he instilled in us till the day he died. May his soul continue to rest in peace. Miss you dad!!
It amazes me this days when I see parents (especially Nigerian parents) comparing their children to other kids forgetting that kids are born different and have different privileges in life. Some kids are gifted in other ways other than education. Education is not the only way you can make it in life. Most of the highest paid CEOs in the world barely have university education. Who told you that because your children are not that good in some subject, they are failure.
As a parent or guardian, comparing your kids to another can affect their self esteem because the kid may feel that no matter what he or she does, they will never measure up to standard in your eye hence the increase in children rebellion to their parents because they feel what’s the point of impressing a parent who will not appreciate the little effort despite doing what they do just to please.
Parents need to let children choose their own path and support them in their own ways and not let them feel like a failure. Parents comparing their kids to others are leading cases of teenage suicide. I read in a Nigerian newspapers sometimes ago about how a father hounded his son over his Third class finish in the university so much that the son had no other choice than to commit suicide because he (son) couldn’t take it anymore. Such a sad story but that story is the case in many Nigeria homes where parents keep degrading their own kids and praising others which to me sound bizarre and weird because why will I use other kids to compare mine when they are uniquely created in their own rights and make.
Please, please and please, parents let learn what makes our children tickle and work with them. If your kids loves singing, support him. If the child loves drawing, support him or her in your own unique way and stop comparing them with other perceived successful kids. Talents even pay more than education this days. The money a musician earns in a day might be the yearly take home of a university professor. That doesn’t take away the importance of education but talent coupled with education is the new reality and parents need to key into it.
Happy Sunday!!
